


Regrets

by fandxmmagic



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 05:06:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11350479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandxmmagic/pseuds/fandxmmagic
Summary: Prompt: After Alex shoots himself in the head and Justin is told, Justin blames himself and remembers that comment Alex made to him in the lunchroom..."So if I kill myself, do you die too?"Trigger Warning: Implied Suicide





	Regrets

Prompt: After Alex shoots himself in the head and Justin is told, Justin blames himself and remembers that comment Alex made to him in the lunchroom..."So if I kill myself, do you die too?"

Justin felt as if he couldn’t breathe. He could hear Mr. Bolan’s voice faintly in the background but all he made out was that one dreaded sentence.

“Alex Standall has shot himself in the head.”

Of course, the auditorium was packed filled with people but a stinging silence rang throughout the air. Justin couldn’t believe it. Though he never admitted it to anyone, he had grown to like the blonde. To some extent, he thought that he might actually like him more than friends. But those feelings scared him, so he repressed them and covered them up with a sarcastic humour. 

Unlike Hannah Baker, Alex left no tapes - no reasons. Just a small note dedicated to his parents but Justin still couldn’t help being infuriated. The fucking school should have done more. Alex was right - those posters were bullshit. Of course suicide would still be an option. With Porter and all of the so called “concerned” teachers, there weren’t really any resources to turn to. But mostly, Justin was mad at himself for not realising the little hints that Alex both intentionally and unintentionally dropped. From his mention of Gloomy Saturday, quitting the jazz band and falling “accidently” into Bryce’s pool that day. 

Then his mind flashed back to the conversation they had at lunch. Alex seemed more isolated and annoyed than usual. “If I kill myself, do you die too?” Alex had said that day. Justin was shocked when he heard the words but he just put it off. He went on with the lunch hour, continuing to talk about Clay exposing the tapes. It fucking pissed him off that that was the main thing he was concerned about. All of the shit with the tapes didn’t seem to matter at all in this moment. 

Why didn’t he take all of this shit seriously? Alex had been pretty obvious about not caring anymore and Justin felt as if he could have done more. If he had actually let himself feel for the blonde, maybe Alex would still be here not half dead in critical condition. But he was too much of a coward to admit his own feelings to himself. And he was now paying the price. Because he would regret it for the rest of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Short little one shot. If you have any requests, you can comment them or message me :) i hope you enjoyed.


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